Though it seems very straight forward, it isn't.
Something I have discovered in my journey as a Transgendered man is that gender, sexuality and identity is very fluid. And that a lot of Trans, gender binary, cis and asexual people hate being pigeon holed into a certain category. They don't want to be referred to as a particular gender and some prefer to be called "they".
To be honest, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. And I have done a lot of research on it. Because I am curious and want to know what the hell. Plus, I get a lot of questions. Like the one I was asked this morning.
Now, no offence to my friend who asked or to the person who asked her but, truthfully, it isn't anyone's business who any of us is attracted to. To assume makes an ass out of you and me.
So my answer to that question is, thank you for asking but truthfully, it is none of your business.
That is also my answer to whether or not I have had surgery yet. Or whether or not I have a penis. Or want a penis. Or how do they make a penis? Yes. I write about these things in my blog. Because it is kind of mass media. Faceless. It is not a single person I am talking to. I am talking to a nameless, faceless group of people. And I have made it quite clear that this is MY journey. Not every Transgendered persons journey.
I read a very interesting article on questions posed to Trans people that non Trans people ask. One was about genitalia. Do you have a penis? Do you want a penis? Do you have a vagina?
Now imagine being asked those questions.
How do you feel? Uncomfortable? Offended? Pissed off? Do you ask these questions of non Trans people?
Why should it be any different for me? Or for any other Trans person? I certainly don't ask people about their junk. So why do you think it is OK to ask me about mine?
I do not hide the fact that I am a Transgendered man. I try not to announce it too loudly but I will not deny it. When I meet new people, I don't ask if they have had surgeries. I don't ask if they have the genitalia they think they should have. It's rude. And really personal. Seriously, if you are that interested in how surgeons make a penis or vagina, You Tube that shit. Trust me, there are a lot of videos out there on the subject. That is how I learned about it.
I am passing very effectively as a man now. Most of my co workers are using my preferred pronoun and all is good. Very few are using my old name. Just people who were friends with my parents and don't know what the scoop is. I am not going to tell them. But if they ask, I will explain. Will I talk about any surgeries etc.? No. That is on a need to know basis. If I don't think you need to know, then I won't tell you.
Your best bet when seeing me or meeting for the first time is to ask me how I am. And my answer will be I am fine. Happier then ever before. That is really all you need to know. The people who need to know about certain things know about them. You, as in the general public, does not need to know. And if you are still really curious and want to know, Google it. There is all sorts of info on Transgender people and transitioning.
Also, something else I want to clarify. I am Transgendered.
I am living my life according to my beliefs. To make me happy. Not to make everyone else happy. I am not trying to be a poster boy for Transgendered people. I am not the information station on Transgendered issues. In fact, I am pretty sure my thoughts and attitudes differ from a lot of Trans people. I never have been and probably never will be an activist for LGBT issues. Not because I don't care. I do. But it is just not something I am interested in doing. I think the best example I can set is just by being me.
All I am and all I ever will be is me. Just me.
To thine own self be true,